I’m tired. I know that everyone is tired right now. Christmas and New Year are in our rearview, and kids are mostly going back to school. My oldest went back to school today, kicking and screaming, and my youngest is currently taking a nap, but I just don’t want to do anything.

But I’m forcing myself to write a little to get back into the habit of writing. I haven’t made much headway on my novel in a couple of weeks, so I thought maybe if I recount my last few weeks, I could get some words on the page and then take a break. Perhaps I can get the rusty gears moving again.

Christmas Is Coming

Once again, my holiday felt like a movie. I’m not going to recount everything, but it has been a long two-and-a-half weeks since my oldest got out of school for the holidays. So that means it has been two and a half weeks with little to no time to myself.

When I showed up to pick up my son from his school that last day, I arrived at the usual time to find no one was in the pickup line. As I crawled into the area we usually lined up, I saw parents coming out of the building with their kids in tow.

My wife and I did not know we could have gone in to celebrate with our son. We knew they had a party, but usually, we get invited or a message saying parents were welcome. So, we assumed it was just for kids this time. After I parked and made it inside, only four kids were left.

We celebrated with my wife’s family the Saturday before Christmas, which went about like most family gatherings do. We had some good times, some fights, and desserts.

When Christmas arrived, we had so much going on that it felt difficult to deal with. My oldest son turned three in November, so this Christmas felt different. For the first time, it felt like he knew what was happening.

He went to sleep that night—something I could never do when I was his age— and he slept in the following day. But once he woke up, the excitement was contagious. He launched himself down to the Christmas tree and grew so excited by all the presents.

With Christmas morning done, we needed our youngest to stay on schedule and nap. He usually takes his naps around nine in the morning and then would be awake long enough for us to get on the plane to Colorado before his next nap.

But he decided to cry instead.

The boy wouldn’t take a nap at all. My wife tried to rock him to sleep, but he just screamed like a banshee. I tried to take over. I took him out of his nap room and let him play, but the boy didn’t want to sleep. Meanwhile, we needed to eat breakfast, finish packing for the trip, load the car, and play with new Christmas toys. It felt like a pressure cooker now that the baby wouldn’t sleep.

And I went off.

I don’t want to get into the details, but I will say that with high pressure, things got said or said in a way that was not intended. Feelings were hurt, and we still had to get ready to go.

Christmas Regressions

Somehow, we loaded everything, and no one killed anyone about it. The baby even slept for about twenty minutes on the way to the airport. He was only an hour and twenty minutes short of what he usually does.

We got to the airport, found parking, and made it to check in pretty quickly. We got on the plane with a good spot for us all. The baby even fell asleep for another twenty or thirty minutes before his big brother accidentally hit him and woke him up.

Other than that little mistake, both boys flew like pros. The youngest squirmed a lot, but he didn’t cry the entire flight—he waited until we got in my mom’s car to start screaming.

My mom is a great host. She cooks and entertains. She takes the kids so we can have a break. She is helpful. It is one reason I love going to see her. But she couldn’t help us with the baby this year.

For some reason, maybe it was being in a new place, or he started a regression, but the boy wouldn’t be away from his mom for more than twenty minutes before he lost it. He didn’t sleep without her by him the entire week we were there.

I don’t want to say that my youngest ruined Christmas because he didn’t. When he was awake, he smiled and played. He let everyone hold him. But, the second Mama walked by or out of his view, his face would scrunch up, and his eyes would start to water.

The only problem came with sleep. He has never been a good sleeper. He has always wanted to be a contact sleeper. I worked hard on getting him used to sleeping in his crib alone. At my mom’s house, though, all that training vanished. He would scream bloody murder if he found himself alone or if Mama wasn’t close enough.

He made everyone feel like they were on eggshells when he napped. Eight other people were in the house, and when he and Mama went for a nap, we had to try to keep a twelve-year-old, a six-year-old, and a three-year-old quiet.

My wife felt drained. I felt anxious because I wanted to help but couldn’t. I just wanted to get home so I didn’t have to worry about him anymore.

Christmas Cousin

On the other hand, my oldest had the time of his life, and I never wanted to leave.

As soon as all three of the boys woke up, they played. They would run around the house, play with lightsabers, color, build Legos, and find things to get into.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have to entertain my oldest. If it weren’t for his brother crying constantly, I could have sat back and relaxed.

Cousins seem to be the most special friends. I’m so grateful that my nephews played so well with my son, even though they were much older than him. They entertained him, played with him, and even watched him for me.

My mom even took all the boys (minus my youngest) to the children’s museum to give all the parents a much-needed break. My son came back from that trip brimming from ear to ear.

My parents also have a park up the street from them that the boys could play on when the weather felt warm enough.

So, as tough as the youngest made it, we all had a fantastic time.

Christmas Recovering

Sadly, we had to travel home. We returned home to discover that one of our car seats never left Colorado. Maybe it had enough of the crying and needed a break. So we spent more time in the airport than we wanted.

After we packed up the car, spontaneous bathroom breaks, and dirty diapers, we headed home. Both boys fell asleep in the car, a feat that had never happened before. We drove around to let them sleep before we knew we had to get them home.

At home, we let the boys sleep in the car while we unloaded. After the car had been unpacked and they hadn’t woken up, I carried the oldest one inside. He promptly went back to sleep. The youngest also stayed asleep for a while without crying or being held. It felt like a New Year’s miracle.

Eventually, they woke up, and we played with the Christmas presents we left behind. We had a nice dinner and put the kids to sleep. The baby didn’t protest, and he slept independently until two in the morning.

Being home, he quickly kicked off the sleep regression from the week before. He didn’t scream as much for the next few days and slept alone for a few hours during naps. He had returned to normal, mostly.

My wife went back to work, and I went back to being a full-time stay-at-home dad.

Resolutions

Last week, I wrote about my resolutions. One of which was to post weekly on the site. This week, I have been mentally exhausted from it all. I felt like I supported everyone emotionally for weeks and kept the kids entertained even longer. I love it, but I need a break.

I say that not for pity but because I didn’t want to write this week when I had time. I stared at my novel-in-progress but couldn’t write on it without feeling forced. I planned a different post for this week, but I needed to write something different.

But I want to reflect on the week I spent with my family. I am so thankful for them all. The help and support they offered, even as we had to tiptoe around the house in the middle of the day, held me up. I loved that my son got to play with kids and have fun.

I felt so glad to see my family. I hope the youngest will start sleeping better so we can take another trip to see everyone.

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