I’ve been making social media posts of frustration about my current position as a stay-at-home parent more than any other type of post lately. I tend to post things that stress me out or about negative attitudes that stress me out, although I throw in the occasional cute picture of the kids doing something adorable.

The fact of the matter is that being a stay-at-home parent is a tough gig. Getting time away from your job—dealing with your kids—becomes difficult and emotionally challenging. Everyone always says that these early phases go by so fast that you’ll miss them when they’re older, and I get that. However, you’re ready for the next phase when you’re in the trenches.

So, I wanted to step back this week and look at the best parts of being a stay-at-home dad.

Bonding Time

The obvious best benefit of being home with the kids is the bonding time.

Before becoming an accidental stay-at-home dad, I taught High School English and creative Writing and coached the tennis team. Between all my school commitments, there were days when I didn’t get to see my kid at all.

School started before he usually woke up. I had practice two or three days a week and competitions that could keep me out until 9 p.m. or later. During an average week, I would get maybe four hours with him before the weekend. That’s one reason I had to change my career.

Now that I’m always home with him, our bond has changed. He used to get so excited when I got home. He would come to hug me and yell, “Daddy!” Now he cries anytime I leave.

I will say that I valued my time a little more when I rarely saw him. I would try anything to be there. Now, I’m always there. I’m shocked that he is still so close to me and doesn’t want a break. But it is hard for me to be away from my kids. Anytime I leave without them, I feel guilty and miss them. I feel like I’m leaving them behind to be selfish.

Now, I know so much more about him and his brother. I know all the things he loves and all his triggers. I know how much time he’s spent on his tablet and how active he’s been. I know what brings a smile to his face and what can make him laugh.

That kind of knowledge can never be replaced.

While there are times I want to pull my hair out and times I need to get out of the house and away from everyone for my own sanity, I would never go back to a job that keeps me away from my kids so much.

Watch Them Grow Up

One of the parenting benefits of being a stay-at-home parent is watching your kids grow up in real-time. Most working parents only get to witness the moments before and after work and on the weekends. They miss out on some of the best moments of the day.

I feel pretty lucky that even though I missed days at home with my kids while working, I didn’t miss many milestones. I remember my wife introduced our son to something for the first time, and I felt jealous that I wasn’t there to see it.

Staying home, I don’t miss anything.

When my youngest was three months old, he started rolling around and army crawling. I got to be the one who found him rolling around and watched as he tried new ways to move. Moments like those can hit hard if you miss them. Likewise, getting to stay home, I heard my youngest say “dada” for the first time, which melted my heart.

It’s never easy to miss those moments. Someone must provide for the family, so someone will always be missing out. I feel like I’m getting to make up for the time I lost with my oldest son and now with my youngest.

No Dress Code

There’s no dress code! There have been days where I’ve been frumpy as hell all day. I don’t go to many places, so most of the time, I can wear my shorts and a crappy shirt around the house.

One of the worst parts about teaching was having to dress formally most of the time. I never understood how wearing slacks and collared shirts improved learning in high school. Students didn’t respect you because you dressed a certain way.

Sure, it’s nice to dress up. On the rare occasion, that my wife or I leave the house, we dress like we’re going out. But most of the time, comfort is king.

To make me feel a little less like a hobo taking care of the kids, I usually try to wear a nice T-shirt if we’re leaving the house. I also try to look nice and take care of myself as much as possible because I’m modeling it to the boys. I don’t want to just lay around in my underwear all the time, but I want to show them how a respectable person dresses most of the time.

But it sure is nice to dress like Adam Sandler without anyone worrying about it.

I Don’t Need My Wife to Find Things

Now, look, I don’t want to hear it. Most of the time, when guys can’t find things, someone puts them somewhere different than normal…right?

Since I’m the one home and doing the majority of the grocery shopping, I know where things are in the pantry—unless someone moves it while I’m not there.

There will be times when I’m looking for something and can’t find it. I try my hardest and do a few searches before I involve my wife. She always knows where things are, no matter what. Even if I move something to test here, she seems to know. It’s like they have Mom AirTags on everything.

Anyway, I don’t need her to help me find as much because I’m putting clothes and food away.

More Time to Be a Prototypical Dad

I never knew how much I liked lawn care until I owned a house, and I wouldn’t own a home right now unless we had a family.

I have learned more about plumbing, yard care, and appliance repair than ever before, and I’m here for it.

If you haven’t been following me on Instagram, I have a weekly yard care series where I’m trying to revitalize my lawn. During the 2022 winter storm, I think a lot of my grass died. Not knowing that we pulled some weeds in the spring of 2023, and the grass came with it. I wanted to fix it then, but I never had time between wrapping up my coaching career and my second baby coming. So this year, I’m diving in and trying to make my yard the best on the block.

It’s such a dad thing to do.

I also figured out why our dishwasher kept crapping out and fixed it. Something I never thought I’d be able to do. I’ve installed ceiling fans and switched out lighting fixtures all over the house. I keep adding to my dad’s toolkit.

And I love it.

Trying A New Career

I’m also fortunate enough that my wife has been able to support us. I do what I can with my tennis lessons and the pennies I make here. I don’t have enough time in the day to dig into freelance writing yet, but I’m working at it.

But being home has given me the chance to reset my career. I’m not sure I would have had the courage to do that without my family. I probably would have continued teaching and coaching even though I stopped enjoying it many years ago. A paycheck was a paycheck.

Now, though, I’m trying to build a new writing career. I’m working on writing my fiction, but not enough. I’m working on writing consistently on the blog. I’ve added some social media ideas to my toolbox. But taking care of the kids is my main job.

As they age and start doing more schooling, I will get more time back. It will happen slowly, but it will happen. I hope to continue to build enough to take some of the financial stress off of my wife. Being home has definitely helped with childcare cost savings, but I want to do more.

I have the perfect situation. I’m doing what I can to grow and improve so that when I have my time back, I’ll be ready. Hopefully, I can continue to push forward and gain more success.

The Best Parts of Being a Stay-At-Home Dad

Being a stay-at-home parent is tough. These kids are crazy, and the job is one of the most stressful. But I love it.

I’m fortunate that I get to build these family relationships daily, and I’m not missing out on time anymore. I get to be a dad and transform myself into the next version of myself—with a long deadline to meet.

Are you a stay-at-home parent? On Facebook, Instagram, or Threads, share your favorite least common aspects of your job.

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