Hi, I’m Jarrett. I’m over forty, in the middle of a career change, and don’t know what to do with my life.

Since I became a stay-at-home dad, I feel adrift with myself. I never meant to be a stay-at-home parent, and while I’m grateful to spend this time with my boys, it is not what I wanted to do with my life. I also know this position won’t be my career forever. In a few years, when it’s over, I still dream of being a writer. But I’m unsure what the best course of action will be to get me there.

So, what should I do?

Status Quo

Right now, 95% of my time goes into being a dad, although I dream of doing more. My oldest kid is three. He has another year before he starts school. My youngest isn’t even a year old yet, so I have more than three years before he goes to school.

During the week, I wake up an hour before the kids to get some things done. After I get my coffee and read for a few minutes, my writing time is whittled down to twenty minutes, and that’s if one of the kids doesn’t wake up first.

Luckily, I have time to figure out my future since I have a few years between now and when my youngest won’t need me as much. But here’s my quandary: what kind of writer do I want to be?

I started the year trying to publish at least one blog post a week, and I’ve stuck to that. In February, I managed two posts a week, but I’ve only managed one most weeks in the last month or so.

I try to keep my focus on parenting and add other posts when possible. I enjoy writing them and know they have brought in a few readers. However, writing a parenting blog has never been my dream. I did it because I thought it might bring me profitability and an audience.

It has been slow going.

My dream, my true passion, has always been to write stories. I’ve always yearned to pen novels or movies; at one point, I aspired to create a TV series like Lost. I believed it might be more challenging to break into that kind of work and that profitability would be a distant goal. But my love for storytelling has never wavered.

Here lies my crossroads, a struggle I face daily: do I continue to pour my energy into the blog, leaving little time for my fiction, or do I shift my focus to my true passion? At present, I find myself torn, as I simply don’t have enough hours in the day for both.

Improve the Blog

I think I need to put more time into the blog to make it work. There are things on the backend that need fixing. The site functions fine, but I need to fix some things to improve my SEO ranking.

I attempted to use AI recently to help with my SEO score on two posts, but I haven’t seen any results. I know some things from the beginning are broken and need fixing, which could help my results a little more, but I don’t have the time or resources to fix those right now. With that said, I’ve also contemplated moving everything over to Substack to avoid having to fix some of those issues and reduce my hosting costs.

Meanwhile, the writing I’m doing here has taken a shape I didn’t mean for it to. As I mentioned, I enjoy writing my posts, but I don’t feel I’m building the skills needed to reach my dream. When I changed my focus to more parenting-oriented content, I wanted to tell stories about my time with my family. Things have spun out as I’ve had ideas about posts, and I don’t feel like I’m telling stories. It’s a different kind of writing.

I wanted to tell these stories and then maybe collect them into a book where I might expand on some things. But most of the posts haven’t been very narrative-driven.

I also don’t have much time to promote my website. Regardless of what path I take, I have to market myself. I need to build the skills to do that. However, I hardly have time to carve out writing, much less develop a marketing plan. Right now, I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. But If I’m contemplating what type of writing I want to do because I don’t have time, adding in marketing doesn’t make things any better.

Focus on Fiction

To achieve my dream, I need to focus on writing more. If I’m not writing the kinds of stories I want to tell, I’m not getting better at my craft. So, am I wasting time with blog posts when I could be creating stories?

Over the past four months, I’ve barely had a chance to indulge in my fiction writing. I am in a predicament because I can write and edit a blog post quicker than a short story or novel. Do I let things languish while I craft a story? I yearn to attract readers with my stories, but I’m struggling to find the right platform to showcase them.

“Find short story submissions” has been on my To-do list for five months. I haven’t even looked for any because I haven’t written anything. I haven’t made any progress on the novel I started for NaNoWriMo. Things have been at a standstill because I spend the time I do have on blog posts, and that eats away at me inside. I’m not chasing my dream, but I am doing more writing than before.

Part of me wants to abandon the blog side of everything and focus on my stories, but I can’t bring myself to do that either.

If I’m not working on my fiction writing, how will I ever sell that novel? How will I improve my skills and be able to live off of my creations?

Take My Time on My Career Change

Luckily, I don’t think I have to panic just yet. I have time. I don’t see my job as a stay-at-home dad changing for the next few years. While there are seasons of change, I also know that as my oldest child gets older, I will begin to have more time on my hands to do more work.

Maybe I don’t have to stop doing one to focus on the other. But I want to get back to writing more short stories—as long as the ideas keep coming to me.

What are your thoughts? Should I temporarily set aside one pursuit for the other? I value your input, so please share your thoughts on Facebook, Threads, or Instagram. Your feedback could be the guiding light in this journey.