Let’s start the fight. Should toddlers have access to tablets? I’m honestly of two minds on the subject. I’m a technology guy by heart, but I’m also a former teacher, and I saw how bad students got when they had a screen in their faces.

But should toddlers have tablets? I’m honestly not sure what the correct answer is. I know that for every good thing the tablet has brought us, it has also brought about frustration.

So here’s what I think of toddlers and tablets.

My Toddler has a Tablet

My firstborn hated being in the car. He would scream the entire time he got in his car seat until we got him out. The only thing that calmed him was videos on our phones.

I didn’t like that the only way to keep my baby calm was to give him a screen, but I didn’t have much choice. Eventually, we had a road trip we needed to take as a family. We couldn’t just let him scream the entire three-hour drive. So, I bought a mount for my iPad and put on videos for him.

Since then, we’ve always had tablets in our life. We were gifted an older Amazon Fire tablet, but it was so slow that we couldn’t use it, although it did do pretty well on our later road trip to Colorado when Southwest Airlines basically shut down for the winter.

I ended up getting a good deal on a 9th-generation iPad. I gave it to him for Christmas when he was two, and he’s used it ever since.

For the longest time, he regulated his usage really well for a toddler. He would get bored of it and play with something else for a while. He would get off of it with no qualms.

But as he’s gotten older, he’s regressed in his ability to regulate.

I’m not an expert in child technological uses, but here’s what I’ve noticed with my son and his use of tablets. Not all of it has been bad, but things are changing.

Benefits of Tablets

I’m not going to lie; I’m working on this article while my son watches videos on his tablet. However, it has been a rare day when he didn’t ask for it until late afternoon.

My son’s tablet use has surprised me in some crazy ways. He can navigate things better than he can do most other things. He has learned things I wasn’t even sure how to teach him, bringing him the independence he needs now.

Quiet Time

I spend most of the day getting my kids to play. We spend hours playing superheroes or playing with some of our favorite toys. Sometimes, we need to calm down and relax to get going again in a little while.

That’s where the tablets come in. Once the tablet comes out, my son will be glued to it while he rests or resets. My kid stopped taking his daily nap almost a year ago, so I’m not sure what would happen if he didn’t stop to rest.

It also gives me a chance to stop and relax. I’m old and tired. I spend every moment with my kids, from when they wake up to when they shut their eyes. I’ve found that I need a break too. The tablet can give me a little break without worrying about the kid getting into trouble—for now.

Learning

A lot of the time, my son is learning something on his tablet—without my prodding. When I set up his tablet, I downloaded regular video apps like YouTube Kids and Disney+, but I also downloaded a couple of free learning apps: Duolingo ABC and PBS Kids Games.

I never made him open those apps, but he got curious. He opened the Duolingo ABC app, and it amazed me how much it interested him in letters and words. He would get into the stories and answer the questions—not always correctly, but that’s part of learning.

One day at lunch, my son played the PBS Kids game app. I hadn’t seen him use the app before. I watched as he figured out how to drag certain shapes onto a roadway to make it complete. He didn’t need assistance or anyone to show him how. I watched as he completed more complex challenges. He would struggle, but he continued to problem solve.

He continued to play different games from the app. Each one worked on various skills and thought processes. I loved to watch him learn things from the app and grow as a human.

Independence

Before the tablet, we would watch TV together. We wouldn’t watch too much unless he had a stomach bug or something. When he got sick, he got into the world of YouTube Kids—which I didn’t like, but it was the only place we could find the scary monster truck videos he wanted.

When he watches YouTube, he is all over the place. He wants to start and stop videos within seconds. Before the tablet, he would tell me which videos he wanted or didn’t like. It grew frustrating as he would say he wanted “that one” but didn’t give me any other details about which one. I would have to hunt through the area he pointed to ensure I found the right one. And if he didn’t like it, I’d have to restart the process.

By giving him a tablet, I have given both of us independence. He can choose which video he wants; if he doesn’t like it, he can move on to the next without my help.

Of course, I do monitor what he is watching. I don’t like some of the content he consumes, but he hasn’t watched anything inappropriate. I like that he can watch what he wants and that I don’t have to step in much to get it.

The Drawbacks

But tablets aren’t all that great. While we have benefited in some areas from his tablet use, other issues have arisen. I can see the crazy effects of his tablet use. His moods change, and he becomes drawn to the tablet in ways I don’t like.

Zombie maker

When the tablet comes out, my son turns into a zombie.

He gets so zoned into the screen that he doesn’t realize anything is happening beyond it. If I ask him a question, it usually takes repetition to get an answer. When he’s on his tablet, he doesn’t even know I’m there anymore.

Often, I have to go to his video or game and pause it to get my question heard. As I pause it, he usually loses his mind and whines and cries. It becomes a process that I don’t always want to go through. I wish I could find some way to reach him when he is zoned in without the mood swings.

Managing Time

I know he is only three years old and not a grown adult, but I worry about his ability to regulate and manage his time on the tablet. As he has developed and used his tablet more, it has become more of an issue.

He used to only watch for a while. He would grow bored and want to play with his toys. Now, he wants to get on his tablet far more than I would like, and he doesn’t get as bored. I have put time restrictions on his apps, but he moves from one to the other once he hits those limits.

I’ve also noticed that his attitude changes to the negative when a tablet is around. He hates to be taken off. When he’s in the middle of a video marathon or game, and I make him get off, the crying and screaming that ensues are some of his strongest.

I feel like this is a tricky situation. I know that these devices are addicting. But I also know there is no way to escape them in our society. Technology continues to advance, and companies will continue finding ways to engage people. So, I want to help teach my son how to manage his tablet time instead of just cutting them all out.

I’m just not sure how to do that yet.

Lack of Boredom

Another problem with the tablet is that he’ll never be bored. Since we introduced this technology so early, he has developed a crutch. He defaults to his tablet when I can’t play with him, or he doesn’t have something to do.

But when you’re bored, the playtime can become the most fun. That’s where imagination steps in. I would much rather have him play with toys or run around than play on his tablet.

When I became a stay-at-home dad, I worried about managing both kids with different schedules. My oldest rarely would do anything without me, so when I had to take the youngest for a nap, I feared the oldest would come in and ruin the calm. I would give him his tablet or turn on the TV to get the little one taken care of.

I’m working on remedying this. Just this week, I told the oldest that he had to play by himself, with no screens, while I finished feeding the youngest. He moaned at first. He lay down in the playroom and lamented that no one wanted to play with him. I assured him we both wanted to play but had to finish. That seemed to get him started. He grabbed toys and began to play. He had a great time.

We joined him for a few minutes of play before I took the little one for a nap. I told the older one that he needed to keep playing and that we would go without screens for a bit. He did great and never asked for his tablet until later in the afternoon. I’m interested to see what happens as I continue this practice.

Thoughts on His Future

I grew up with technology. I remember hearing about Google in high school. While I love technology, and I’ll say I’m slightly addicted, I can get off of the stuff every once in a while. I want that for my son.

I don’t want to regulate him for the rest of his life. I don’t want to get messages from his future teachers telling me he’s watching Netflix instead of doing his work in class.

So, I will try to work with him and teach him the best I can about how to use these things in moderation. How to use them as tools. But that can be hard because even while playing with him, I still get drawn to my own devices. How can we, as parents, tell them to get off their devices while we’re on ours most of the day?

I hope to continue to show him the right way to manage it all.

Should Toddlers Have Tablets?

I’m of the mind that kids will be in technology eventually. When you introduce that technology to your kids, it depends on you and your family. I started early, and I’m sure I won’t be able to avoid them with my youngest since his brother has one.

But I think it’s a delicate balance. I know the effects of the damn things, but I don’t think he’ll be able to avoid them.

What do you think about tablets? Join the conversation on Facebook.

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