I know I’m still pretty new to this parenting thing. I’ve only been at it for three years, and I’m still learning. I’ve learned so much as a stay-at-home dad, but it’s wild that I changed my parenting views based on the advice of a cartoon dog designed for kids.

Look, I know kids shouldn’t watch much TV, but have you ever watched Bluey before? It’s great.

However, one episode of Bluey changed the way I parent my boys. Here’s what happened.

The Issue

At one of my son’s regularly scheduled check-ups, the doctor noticed that he sucked his thumb. At this point, I don’t remember if it was because he actually sucked his thumb in front of the doctor or the man saw the calluses that developed on his thumbs. Regardless, he told us we should try to stop him.

I know it’s not good to suck your thumb for a variety of reasons, be it health or habit, but I didn’t know when to knock it off. The doctor told us to try, and so we took that on.

Of course, the doctor told us to simply swat his thumb out of his mouth if we ever saw it. He claimed our son would get annoyed about it after a few weeks to a month and stop. The doctor even confided in us that his own child had been an ardent thumb-sucker, and they did the same thing with great results.

So we left the doctor’s office with new knowledge and a mission. We would stop the thumb-sucking!

Thumb Sucking War

But it wasn’t as simple as swatting away a thumb.

We tried to swat when we saw it, but we would be greeted with rage and anger, not annoyance. My son isn’t violent; he’s never tried to hit us, but you could see how angry he would become when we tried to get that thumb out of his mouth.

We tried different things over the next few months. We would tell him to stop. We pulled his thumb out of his mouth. In an act of desperation to get him to stop, I held his thumb so that he couldn’t suck it. I regret my decision and wish I could take it back.

Yet nothing would stop him from his mission.

I noticed that he would only suck his thumb when he felt tired or bored. When he watched TV, that thumb would go straight in.

My wife and I felt defeated. We felt lost for how to move forward. I even floated the idea of putting duct tape or hot sauce on his thumbs, but both felt cruel.

We tried our best for the next few months, but nothing would stop it.

Bluey, Chili, and Muffin Heeler to the Rescue

Then, one day, while watching Bluey for the hundredth time, the episode Muffin Cone came on. I had seen this episode numerous times, but it hit me this time for some reason. Maybe it’s because it deals with thumb-sucking?

In the episode, Muffin Heeler, Bluey’s cousin, can’t stop sucking her thumb. Muffin’s mom puts a cone on her to keep her from doing it.

Because of the cone, the kids can’t play. Meanwhile, the moms are in the kitchen talking about diets. Muffin’s mom can’t control herself around chips and eats them all without willpower.

Of course, everyone learns a lesson in the end.

But watching the episode, I realized I was asking my son to do something he didn’t have the power to do. Swatting away a thumb and doing all the other things wouldn’t make him stop if he didn’t have the motivation or understanding to stop. He only knew that sucking his thumb soothed him.

A New Plan of Action

Now, armed with more knowledge and a little shame from Chili Heeler, I started trying a new tactic.

Instead of swatting or getting upset about it, I simply ask my son to try to stop sucking his thumb. I’ve tried to explain to him how sucking his thumb makes him feel good, but it’s not good for his teeth or health. I think he has a basic understanding of the concepts here, even if he doesn’t fully grasp it.

He still sucks his thumb, and last week especially, it felt like that thumb went to his mouth all day, but I do think other than that, the thumb sucking has declined. I don’t get growled at when I ask him to try to stop. Instead, he looks at me and quickly removes his thumb like he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

And that’s okay right now. I’ve dieted before. I know how hard it is to pass up on something that makes you feel better (chips and salsa, chocolate, and ice cream for me). I don’t expect him to stop anytime soon, but I think we have a better understanding and a clear goal.

Always Evolving

I try to remember that my sons are still learning life. They don’t know how to wait for something to be done or how we don’t just make things appear out of nowhere. They don’t have the power to stop themselves from doing something that calms them down.

So when I’m trying to get him to stop sucking his thumb, anger isn’t going to help solve the issue. I need to help him with the tools he needs to stop doing it and give him grace as he attempts to stop. It might not be what I want, but if we can both work toward an end goal, we’ll get much more out of it.

But this doesn’t just apply to thumb-sucking. These boys are learning the world, and no matter what, I need to remember that I’m a guide, not a guard.

Have you had issues like this that you could use a new perspective with? Let me know on social—I’m primarily on Threads these days, but I’m also on Facebook and Instagram. Also, if you enjoyed this post or got something out of it, if you could share this with your socials, it would help me expand my reach!

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