I’m not a reality TV junkie, but I can’t stop watching Too Hot To Handle. Too Hot To Handle is Netflix’s reality TV show about promiscuous singles trapped on a beautiful island and told to abstain from physical contact.
I’ve watched a few reality TV shows. Amazon’s Jury Duty, 90-Day Fiancé, The Bachelor, and its offshoots have caught my attention at different times. I’ve even spent a good chunk of time watching Netflix’s other reality shows like Love Is Blind, The Ultimatum, and I’ve just started The Perfect Match. Mostly, I watch these because my wife likes them. Eventually, I get a little invested in them too.
But Too Hot To Handle calls to me because it does something that no other reality show does — forces people to experience personal growth.
Here’s why I think Too Hot To Handle is the best reality TV show for people who don’t like reality TV.
How Too Hot To Handle Works
The premise of Too Hot To Handle is simple. Netflix scans social media accounts until it finds some beautiful, thirsty singles with glowing personalities. It then tricks them into signing up for a reality show they think will allow them to have the time of their life with other thirsty singles on vacation.
The show gives them one day to meet and get the engines revved up. They have a party on the first night, and it gets all sexy. Then the cone-shaped hammer drops.
The contestants meet Lana, the “AI” that will be watching them for the rest of the retreat. Lana informs them they have a prize pot of money they can win, but each time they get involved in physical contact, such as kissing, they will deduct money from the pool.
Of course, they all flip out because this is the opposite of what they signed up for. The entire premise of the show, though, is personal growth. The show wants these singles to grow up a little and learn what a real relationship is instead of moving between lovers every night.
Of course, the couples don’t understand nor want this change — at first. The first few episodes of every season are pretty raunchy. People couple up and think they are above the rules. But eventually, most contestants feel the pressure and guilt of the communal pot of money. Each time they break a rule, the group realizes their actions can affect everyone.
Lana watches the contestants break the rules. However, she lets them. The reveal of the rule break later to the group creates a sense of pending doom in the contestants every time.
She also interjects workshops that provide the contestants with therapy about their relationships or views of relationships. It takes a while for many of the contestants to open up, but eventually, they do. They make significant progress in self-realization.
About halfway through the show, the contestants do begin to grow. They settle into relationships and value the emotional connection they develop.
Finally, the contestants vote on who grew the most during the show, and that person wins what is left of the pot.
Beautiful Scenery
The first episode of Too Hot To Handle landed during the summer of 2020, in the middle of the pandemic lockdown. It offered those stuck inside a beautiful vista to experience from our lockdown couches.
While the location has changed during the seasons, the locales are beautiful. Four of the five seasons have occurred at villas in Turks and Caicos, offering contestants and viewers white sandy beaches and turquoise water. It helped fill that vacation void during the lockdown.
It doesn’t hurt that these contestants they choose also offer fantastic scenery. The beautiful and handsome contestants are always lovely to watch as they work out, gossip, bond, fight, and grow. All of the contestants they choose are fit and beautiful. Of course, things could get out of hand quickly.
The show could allow everyone as many drinks as they wanted and then sit back and watch the drama, but that’s not the case. The producers limit the amount of alcohol the contestants can consume.
I think this creates something beautiful. Of course, the producers want drama but also the growth these people should go through. They don’t want them to go too far, lose control, and forget what they are trying to accomplish here.
Drama
But let’s get to the core of what makes the show so good, the drama.
The drama starts immediately with a bit of dramatic irony. I’m not sure how they always get these contestants to think they are going on a show about hooking up, but they do. Each contestant is ready to get down and party, but at home, we know they are about to go through it. We watch them mingle and plan out who they will hook up with. Meanwhile, Lana and her rules are about to break through and ruin everything.
When the AI cone shows up, you can see the surprise and genuine disappointment in their reactions. Some immediately start to cry. It’s such a great moment when they realize where they really are.
Of course, things don’t stop there. Every year, couples think they can do whatever they want. They don’t care about the show’s premise and lose it to their desires. But on the flip side, at least one person is always motivated by money and acts as a sheriff, trying to block anything from happening.
Even better, the show doesn’t stop and announce rule breaks. No, they let the contestants sit in fear of being caught and letting the group down. Again, we know what’s happened and how everyone is acting. We see their fear of getting caught and letting others down.
Of course, towards the end of the season, that type of drama mostly subsides to make way for a more mature relationship drama. These young men and women face their growth and determine whether they are making connections. They have to figure out if they are growing as a person or not.
We begin to care about relationships that grow out of the experience. Will this couple stay together? We know most couples won’t survive out in the wild, but their decisions on the island exemplify their character growth.
With season five, things got taken up a notch even more. In two of the forming couples, the men in the relationship seemed shaky with moving forward. They were offered the chance to walk away with a ton of money or stay in the relationship and not be allowed to win the prize pot. Like the guys, I sat there dumbfounded, guessing what they would do.
Sadly, the final prize pot has never been the most dramatic moment. Usually, you can tell who will win an episode or two before the contestants vote. There is always a front-runner for the most growth at the retreat.
Personal Growth
The thing that makes this show so great and different is the personal growth these characters go through. As a culture, our stories are all about growth. Almost all of the world’s stories center around a character that experiences change. Characters in fiction have transformational arcs.
Most reality TV stars don’t. We get invested in the personal drama, which hooks us into these shows. But change doesn’t happen often.
This show focuses on character growth. We watch ten hours of these people change and grow as people. We see them realize the error of their ways and attempt to change. Like a good story, the characters get tested, and we aren’t sure what will happen. The characters often let us down and fall to their desires, but sometimes, we are pleasantly surprised by the outcome.
These singles show up on the island with one thing in mind and leave with something else. It gives me the warm fuzzies at the show’s end as I see these people adapt to their new view on relationships and themselves.
It is incredible to see these people transform. Many go from never talking about feelings. They spent the last few years moving from one person to the next, never thinking about a relationship. After the retreat, they are open. They admit things to people they just met about their feelings and why they are the way they are and leave with relationships.
Sure, we know the relationship won’t work in the long run, but it feels like they will return to the ordinary world as a changed person. I wish they would have a reunion show with the contestants after a year to see if they have continued to grow or if they have returned to their ways.
Some contestants have popped up on other Netflix reality shows, though, and it seems like they have carried on with what they’ve learned on Too Hot To Handle. And while I’ve never looked up what happened to a Bachelor contestant or a couple from 90-day Fiancé, I have tried to find out if these contestants have maintained their change. From everything I’ve seen, this show has created a lasting change in almost all cast members.
Too Hot To Handle The Best Reality Show For Creatives
Too Hot To Handle might not be for everyone. The ending might be easily guessable, but it offers something no other reality TV offers. The cast of characters go through a hero’s journey type transformation on the show, and because of that, I think it is the best reality TV show, especially for other creatives and writers.
If you’ve never tried it, I recommend trying it. I’m not a huge reality TV viewer, but I love it when a new Too Hot To Handle season drops.
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